Typically, this sort of title is reserved for the early weeks of a new year. New year resolutions are (in my experience) overly dramatic, sometimes unhealthy, and on the whole a lie you’re willingly selling to yourself. Every year since I was 12 my resolutions were hastily scribbled onto a page in a journal. Typically the first one was always “lose more weight” or “be skinny.” This isn’t a revolutionary resolution, in fact probably 88% of the people who make resolutions have this on the list. I was never a really skinny kid, I liked food and I liked contact sports which encouraged a certain amount of body mass. I went to a small school so playing three seasons was heavily encouraged. Another quality inherent in a small school is the reality of a small crush zone- and when you’re a nerdy athlete who is a little on the bigger side, well, let’s just leave it at that my dating life didn’t even remotely begin until college. I always put “lose weight” or “skinny” because there was a part of me that thought that if I were skinnier like some of the more popular girls or maybe a boy would look at me in the same way.
The second resolution was always something to do with trying something new. If you were to ask my closest friends, or really even the people who are at my gym. They would tell you that I am a creature of habit in the purest sense of the definition. So doing something new typically entailed doing something that scared me (I’m not talking terrified me, but in the sense that it lay in the realm of the unknown). Frequently this resolution would be to travel to a country I had never been to, or to try a new daring activity that in doing so would make me more interesting.
The subsequent resolutions would range in intensity and number. What remained constant was that within a week or two all drive to carry out my new goals would fade, and I would be left feeling mildly guilty when I would remember them occasionally. Resolutions aren’t meant to make you feel horrible, however when they come from insecure parts of you they can hurt more than actually help. I know, RIGHT?!! Well, that’s where my 100 Days of Healthy comes in. For the past several years I haven’t taken very good care of myself, in college I all too frequently ate crappy food at weird hours, rarely saw the gym, drank way waaaay too much, and frequently compromised what I wanted. No more.
On top of not really taking care of myself, I had begun to sink into a dark, what I called, funk. It got to a point where I wouldn’t leave my bed, or my room, I would cancel plans and avoid text messages and phone calls. I neglected personal hygiene, and allowed my insomnia to take hold of my sleeping patterns once more. Finally I made the decision to reach out, seek help, and fix myself. Having depression and anxiety is not a weakness. Over the past several months I have learned what my weaknesses are, as well as how to highlight my strengths. I’ve also discovered that you can learn a lot from weakness, but that’s another post for another day. So, if you’ve stuck with this post for this long well done to you! And thank you. That’s where the 100 Days of Healthy comes in. This is a self designed challenge to make myself focus on achieving health physically, mentally, and spirituality. And hopefully I’ll be posting on a daily/bi-daily basis to track my progress.
So here it goes. Physical health. Mental health. Spiritual health. I can do this.